The New Age Mum

Raising Boys without Shouting or Spanking (Part III) – Finale

Posted on: Wednesday, September 10, 2008

On my previous, I have written on Part I and Part II about the books that I had referred to for raising boys. In this post today, I had also use the Progress Chart which I had referred from the Karen Cheng’s Website to help my boys become clearer of their daily routine.

Whola, the combination of these the books and progress chart just worked like magic for help. A lot of praises and the stickers I give them after each task they have completed just makes them really excited and happy and of course me happy too because of the lessened screams around the house.

Basically because my boys do not go to school at the momment, I have a Morning, Afternoon and Evening Progress Chart and here is a sample of what they have to do in the Morning:

  1. Wake up and Smile
  2. Drink their milk
  3. Pack bed
  4. Bath
  5. Breakfast
  6. Clear the table
  7. Writing
  8. Act of love and kindness they show to each other for the morning.

 I won’t elaborate on the rest because ultimately it is up to you to fix the routine. But this chart certainly gives clear, definite instructions to the boys and they were excited to do each task.

Although, a lot of supervision was needed due to the age of my boys and I had to do the task with them and teach them, they really enjoy themselves. Therefore at the moment, our morning is full of fun and laughter and we were absolutely able to have breakfast at a leisurely pace, laughing and talking about what they will like to do for the day. Like what Karen Cheng had described, after 2 weeks her boys had memorised the list and do most it themselves, but my boys needed about 1 month though.

Overall, the first week of bringing in the new method home to help the boys behave better was a pain. There are times I just wanted to give up and cave in to hollering at them but something in me just hang on. Moreover my hubby had thought that I was joking about the new type of discipline I want to bring into the house as he himself wasn’t a very patient man with the boys at times either. Hence he wasn’t very co-operative.  

Subsequently, as the boys started to understand what I expect from them, they were able to follow through better. As Clemens sensed the change in me in talking nicely but firmly to him without shouting or spanking, he seems to be able to appreciate. Soon, Clemens started talking more nicely to Damir and giving more praises to Damir too just like the way I have praised Clemens. This is something which I am very happy about because he is no longer the angry little boy I know.

By now my hubby was able to see the changes in the boys and he knows that I am not joking. He also sees the boys helping around in the house like setting up the dinner table, clearing the table and Clemens offering to help to load the dishwasher. At this point of time, he noticed that the boys are helping out without me asking them and he realised that he has to set an example for them too. Hence, he became more proactive around the house helping out without having to be asked.

As I also expect my boys to say please, thank you and welcome, I realised too that my hubby and I had to do it too. It sounded really fake initially however over the weeks, it just became a habit and it just came out of our mouth naturally. We became more appreciative of each other’s help around in the house. Therefore this has actually improved the relationship between my hubby and me.  The boys are also happier now because dad and mum respected each other and showed more love to each other.

However, there are also days that I do not see eye to eye with the boys. Initially I was upset and thought that the new method is not working. But I soon came to realised that this is not all mine or the boys’ fault and that it is ok to be unpopular with my boys at times because I know I am going to have a lot of good times and a long history of care and involvement to draw on (just like how we draw the money from the bank we have saved up).

Right now I am happy that I am becoming an agent of change in my family as written in the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families” by Stephen R. Covey.


3 Responses to "Raising Boys without Shouting or Spanking (Part III) – Finale"

halo angie! ^^

Cute little boys u have..

Its tough being a mum, n you a mum to 2! can see ur determination in educating your boys! jiayou!

btw, well wrtten blog too!

Hihi, didn’t know u were reading. Thanks. We really have to meet up when I am back at the end of this year.

Miss ya

saw ur blog add on msn, so decided to check it out…heehee..

yeah, let’s meet up when u r back n bring ur boys along, but must ask ur boys to call me ‘jie jie’ ya..haha… ^_^

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Welcome to The New Age Mum

Hi I am Angelia Giam! This site is basically dedicated to my 2 very precious boys who have filled my life with the all the colours of the world. It is also about me striving to lead a balance and fulfilling life with the family I have created. I have also added some basic food recipes which I have tried and tasted; and recommended some parenting books which I have read and found it to be useful as well for all to share.

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